Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rainy Tuesdays always get me down...lol

No, I'm not down. If fact, I feel pretty darn good today. For no special reason. Oh, maybe it's the shopping that I've been doing...lol



Lynne, you have an award for me? That is so nice. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to snag so I thought I would ask you first:) It's nice to know that someone is thinking about you. Just let me know and I will be right over to snag it..



Well, the ex and I had been doing some talking. When things didn't turn out the way that he wanted it to, he called switched gears..again.

He has sold the house. For much less than what it is worth of course. I will only get about half of my settlement amount. which isn't a whole lot.

The rest he will have to pay off in monthly installments of $125.00...Okay fine.

I was supposed to get the couch and two recliners when I moved out. I had asked him if I could get them at a later date. He agreed. Then when I wanted the furniture, he told me that he got rid of it. He didn't, when you drive by the house, you can see the couch thru the window.
He has to be out of the house by April 22..


So, we have done a little talking the past week and a half. He wants to try to get back together..Do I wish that could happen? Yes, a part of me does.

But the reality of the situation is that I have worked on trying to figure out my part in the failure of our marriage. I am trying to put God first in my life and be the person that He would want me to be.

He has done nothing to change his ways. He talks a good talk but I think that that is all it is....

I'm getting ahead of myself here...According to the divorce, I was to pay the 1,000 Kohls bill..No problem. Until he wouldn't give me the couch. I decided that if I couldn't get the couch and chair, I wasn't going to pay the bill....

Well, when things didn't go his way with our talks...he reverted to his usual self and called my attorney. He told him that he wants the money. I told my attorney that he could have the money. But I want the furniture.

Now let me tell you why he wanted to involve MY attorney..Because it will cost ME money..Well, you know what? That's fine because my attorney will make sure that the papers are in my favor. He will make sure that I get the full balance of money that doesn't go for paying off the house and realtors. I was afraid that my ex might try to figure out a way to skim some money off the top. Now I know that will not happen.

I will be so glad when he moves. He won't stay in the town that we live in.
I think it will be a good thing. It will be even better when he retires and moves 220 miles north of here...lol.

My sil wants me to come up by her house this coming week-end. Getting away sounds good to me..I do have to talk to my boss first. He will have to cover two of my jobs for me. Just in case someone doesn't show up. That is Very unlikely. These two people are my most dependable. But we have to be prepared just in case.
I was going to talk to my boss this morning but he seemed on the edge of being crabby and I didn't want to stay at the office any longer than I needed to. lol
I'll talk to him tomorrow hopefully.

I think I'm going to take a nice bubble bath tonight. I was going to do some laundry but a bubble bath sounds much nicer...lol

Friday, March 27, 2009

I HAVE MY NEW LAPTOP!!!
Good Grief, what was I thinking taking so long to get one? I am sitting in my living room. Watching the shows that I recorded. This is the life. I can't wait until I go to bed so that I can sit in there for a while with my laptop...lol
I bought a nice wooden lap board and a case. I am using an external mouse. I might get used to the one on the laptop, but for right now, this works better for me..

I am going to meet my daughter in the morning for an exercise class. She has lost about 6 pounds. Slow is the way to go when losing weight. Because it takes changing your eating habits as a way of life. And that is what she is doing..I'm very proud that she is finally doing this.

I'm looking forward to having the whole week-end off. It's my second one since I stopped doing the hallways..And I have to admit, it really does feel nice to have my time back. It lets me recharge for the next week of work.

Today I was headed out to the office to get my van restocked with supplies. My boss called, he wanted to know if I was coming out because his wife was going to run out to get sandwhiches. I said I would like turkey.
After we all ate, I said that I would like to pay for lunch. He said no, I could buy lunch another day. I told him that I had to do it while I had some money...lol. I just got my taxes back. So, he let me buy. They have paid for lunch a few times and I wanted to be able to repay the gesture.
Can't do it often that's for sure..lol

Jeremy is at work right now. He should be home about six. He is going out with some people that he met at work. One of the girls is going to pick him up about 6:45. He laid out a nice shirt before he went to work..lol...Believe me,,that is a first. He is always in a black t-shirt with the name of a band on it..lol
Well, shortly after he left, my doorbell rang. I could not think of anyone that would be stopping by...I looked out my window and saw a UPS truck....Could it be??? Yes, it was his XBox 360. Back from being repaired...He will be the happiest boy around when he sees it.
I put it on his bed. Under the shirt he had laid out...lol

Well, I guess I better stop playing with my new toy...and get a few things done. Then I will be free for the week-end...Yippee

See ya soon! Have a great week-end!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Thank you Lucy for the award! That was so nice of you to think of me.
I will have to see if I have someone to pass it on to that you haven't already given it to..lol

I can't believe that it is Wed. already. The days are zooming by. I'm of course looking forward to another work free week-end..lol I could get used to this..

I've been doing a fair job of getting over to the gym to work out. I am actually thinking about going tonight at 7:oo. Not sure if I will make it, but that's okay. I will have time Friday and this week-end.
My daughter is doing a real good job of going often. And changing her eating habits. She will probably notice that she isn't spending as much money with not hitting the prepared foods.

She and her boyfriend are going to Vegas next week for a couple of days..
Oh do I envy them. I would like to go somewhere. Anywhere..lol

I hit on the machine at the bar on Sunday. I was there about an hour. I hit for 250.00...I think I had between 30 and 40 dollars in..So, not a bad hit. I picked the money up yesterday..I bought a few things that I had been wanting.
One of the things I bought was a Bible. Does that sound bad? Buying a Bible with my gambling money? I hope not. It is an amplified Bible. Much easier to read and understand. I love it. It has a nice leather cover.

I also bought socks, tennis shoes and a nice comforter set. I washed the sheets that came with it today and put it on my bed. It looks really nice.
I also bought a book called; Act like a lady, Think like a man. lol It is written by Steve Harvey the comedian. Things ladies in the dating scene should look for in men...lol

Not too much else is new. Yesterday we had a lot of rain. No rain today, but it is dreary out. Maybe we'll get some sunshine tomorrow..

Well, I think I'll make pork stirfry, so I better get moving.

Thank you again Lucy for thinking of me:)


Saturday, March 21, 2009

Thank you Ladies for you comments.
I will work through this like I have worked through other trying times in my life.
Just wish it didn't have to hurt so much...
Enough about that.

I joined the YMCA with my daughter. She had just started going on a more consistent basis. I had been talking about joining for some time. Decided that it was time stop talking about it and do it.
My first day there, we walked on the treadmill and then later in the day went for a class. It's called BodyPump..It's a one hour class that goes through a whole series of moves. You use weights. You do crunches. You get your heart rate up. It's really an overall workout. I even made it for the whole hour...lol

Last night, I decided that instead of just sitting around the house, I would get myself over there and work out some more.
Now mind you, I have a bit of a problem doing some of these things by myself. I don't like to walk into such active places by myself. But I was determined:) I used the treadmill for a bit and then hit the hot tub. I was going to swim for a while, but they had a class in session, so I opted for more time in the hot tub. I must say, it was very relaxing.

Today my daughter and I are supposed to do the BodyPump class again. The last instructor told us that we really only need to do that twice a week.

I quit my job doing the apartment hallways. We have a new manager and things went downhill from there.
I was told that there would be some changes. The guy in charge of the apartments told the manager that he wasn't pleased with the way the hallways were being kept up....EXCUSE ME.. I told her that if he was coming here a couple of days after I had cleaned them then they were going to look like hell...Because no one here cares about cleaning up after themselves. As in, spilling liquid detergent on the washer and then leaving it. If they are bright enough to empty the lint trap, will they make sure that it gets into the garbage pail? Not always because they don't care.
I told her that if Scott was so worried about the hallways being up to his standards then he should have gotten a commercial vacuum. Who buys a frigging canister vacuum to do hallways with two flights of stairs each?

Now they are talking about doing a touch up job a few days after the complete cleaning. Well, they should have said something before.

I just don't need that kind of hassle. I will make do without the extra money.
There are a few areas that I can cut back on. I did like having the extra money, but not at the expense of them driving me crazy...lol

Other than that, not too much is new..It seems strange for the week-end to be here and there isn't ONE thing that I HAVE to do...lol
I'm going to enjoy it.
Hope everyone else has a wonderful week-end.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I don't know why I'm feeling the way that I am..
I know that I have so much to be Thankful for. And I make a point of Thanking God everyday for what he has given me.

I think that even though we know some things are for the best, it still hurts. Next month will mark the one year anniversary of my divorce.
And I feel like I am stuck in that place of grief. I thought I was doing so darn well. I thought that I was moving past all of the hurt and disappointment. Now I feel like I did in the beginning. And it's not a good place to be. I don't know how to move past it.
I know that I have to place my faith in God. I have done that. I do have faith that He will see me thru this trying time.
I know that the divorce was for the best. The marriage wasn't going to change. I couldn't do it by myself.
You see, I know all of these things on an intellectual basis. But my heart is so broken.
I'm having such a hard time moving past the What could have been.
For as nasty as my ex could be, he could be just as loving. That is the person that I miss. That is what makes this so hard. Because if he could have just been that loving person on a consistent basis, we could have had the life that we planned.
I'm angry that I don't get to move up north and enjoy the new house. I don't get to live the nice quiet life I had planned on. I have to start my life all over again at 53.
He always said that I didn't appreciate all he did for US..that isn't true.
I told him that it wasn't about what he could GIVE me. It was how he talked to me. All he had to do was talk nice to me. Treat me in a respectful manner...Be nice.
Shouldn't you want to treat your wife that way? Shouldn't you treat her as well or better than you treat your friends? Why did I have to be the one that he talked crap to?
I know all the answers to this. The problem was the household in which he was raised. His father was a mean SOB. He treated his wife and kids with disrespect. And my ex proceeded to do the same. I know that it is not about me. It is about how he was raised. I just wish that he could have been the one to break that cycle..But he didn't. He let his marriage end. And now we have to live with it.
I am not saying that I was perfect in the marriage. I know that I have my faults. But they came no where near treating him with disrespect.
What ever my faults were, I never deserved to have him put his hands on me.
He thought because he gave up drinking, and didn't touch me, that that was all he had to do..I forgave him and it still wasn't enough to make him think before he spoke. It didn't change his approach.
One time he told me that he couldn't do enough for me. I said, all you have to do is talk nice to me. Can it be any more simple?

So now, here I sit. Mourning the loss of what could have been.
I don't want to spiral down into depression. Maybe I feel deserted. By my now ex-husband, by Randy, by Larry..Randys girlfriend is now back. So of course, I don't hear much from him. Larry found a new girlfriend and now I don't hear from him..
I feel like if I sit in this apartment much longer, I'll go crazy.
I know that it is up to me to find a life. And I am trying. I got online today to see about becoming a volunteer at Childrens Hospital. But because this computer I have from Randy gives me so many problems, I wasn't able to actually fill out the application. I am going to go right to the hospital to do it.
I'm trying to take my mind off of me. I want to do something constructive.
I know that if I get my mind off of me and onto someone else, then God will take care of me.
But some things are easier said than done.
I know God will take me thru this storm. I believe and I trust.
My heart will heal.

I'm sorry that I went on and on.
Maybe you didn't even make it this far...lol
If you did,,Thank you for caring.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thank you Dear Janie, I now have my buttons back...isn't it the little things in life that make us happy? And no, you didn't say too much. I always appreciate words of wisdom.

I have been feeling down lately. Not on a constant basis. But enough to let me know that I have to do something.
And that something is.........Getting a life...lol
I know that all in all I have a good life. I am thankful to my Lord that he has taken care of me.
I also know that I need to do more than go to work and clean my house.
I am checking into some volunteer work. I know that will take up some of my time, give me something to look forward too and help someone other than myself....
I also talked to my grandsons other grandma, her name is Chris..Very nice woman. We see each other at Holidays and when I go there to get Mason. She was saying that she feels cabin fever setting in and needs to get away..Without kids or grandkids..
Her son, my stepdaughter and grandson all live with her. Now mind you, it works out well for all of them. But I can certainly understand that she needs some time for herself..So, I suggested that we make plans to get away. Even if it is only for one night. She thought that was a great idea.
We are each going to check into some possible ideas.
Hummmm, could this be the work of God? Sending two ladies together that are in need of something outside of the home? I think yes:)

Then today I got news from my sil that I will be getting a nice refund check back..Oh my gosh,,I didn't think I was going to get anything. In fact, I truly thought that I was going to owe. Jeremy is also going to get back a small amount..I'm not going to say anything to him about it. I'm going to wait until the money is in the bank, and then I'm going to suggest to him that we go and look at laptops..When he finds the one he wants, (within reason) I am going to tell him that we will purchase it..Then I will explain to him how we are doing that. I will add the difference for it.
He will be soooo excited.

I appreciate the comments about the online dating.
I'm still think it's crappy that the guy didn't write back. But you know what? HIS loss.
I haven't really been on the sight since then.
Believe me, I'm taking my time. Although I think part of the reason that I have felt somewhat blue is because the one year anniversary of my divorce is next month. I feel like I should be so much more healthy about this by now. But I guess because he and I had spent some time together and some of the Holidays, it has prolonged the healing process.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. I hope everyone has a wonderful week-end. I have to work on Sat. One of my own cleaning jobs and then I have to cover one of my workers..The drive to and from the account will take longer than the actual cleaning..lol...


Sunday, March 8, 2009

Oh Damn, This is going to make me crazy....
Every time I try to do something, it will not let me.
When I hit the bold or italic buttons,they won't do it. The only thing that happens is the written information for it shows up in my entry. I never had that problem before. I don't know why it had to start now. I have no button for font size. UGH....

It is snowing out..not too hard right now. It has been raining and raining...Then this afternoon it turned to sleet and now just snow.I don't think we're supposed to get much. But wow what a difference after a day without a jacket..lol

I have found love....no, not a man. lol..Popcorn. I had never tried this kind before.
Homestyle-Pop Secret. Ummmm good. I love home made popcorn, but I tend to put too much butter on that. I don't add anything to my microwave popcorn. I have been taking a bag of it in the van with me when I'm on the road. I've also started to drink water again. I used to drink so much water I thought I would float away. Then for the longest time I didn't drink any at all. So, now I am back to that. I also have been sticking to Coke-zero. And only one or two small bottles a day.
Time to start thinking about getting healthy. And summer is coming..I think...lol

So,,,I found myself trying the dating site one more time..They gave me a list of 500 men that meet my requirements. Of those 500, I swear there was only one new guy..Humm
He had a picture on his site. He is 54, looks to be in pretty darn good shape, doesn't live too far from me and he had paid the fee for the site which means that he can e-mail people and they can e-mail him..So, he's not cheap..lol
Well, I sent a free flirt..Then he sends me a short note. I sent him one back. I tell him that I will try to send him a picture.I also tell him that I have to get some developed so at this time I am limited to what I can send, but I promise him that I do not have two heads...Keep it light..lol
I send him a copy of the picture that I have here on blogger..I say that I know he can't see my face, but that I will try to send a better one in a few days...
I'm thinking that the picture at least gives him some idea..right?
Well, I have not heard back from him..It's been 4 days or so now..I personally hate to be left hanging..So what do I do?? I wrote him a short e-mail last night. I just said, I guess you're really busy or you just didn't like the picture..Haven't heard anything, so now he probably thinks I'm crazy..lol Oh well, we had dialog going between us and I think that he could have written something in respone to my sending him the picture. (Maybe I'm wrong)

Camerons picture was on tv..His mom had gotten him up at 6:00am so he could see it. It didn't come on until a little after 7...When I talked to him in the afternoon, he told me about it..
She is going to have a birthday party for him next week-end..At the bowling alley. That should be intersting.

Well, I guess that's it for news right now. Hope everyone enjoyed their week-end.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS CAMERON!

I can't believe that he is 6 years old. His picture will be on the news in the morning.
TV6 has a segment that is called, Look who's turning 6. A couple of weeks ago, I sent in his picture. I received an e-mail back stating that he is scheduled to appear Friday morning. But no guarantees. I am so excited. I think he will get a big kick out of having his picture and name appear on tv.

It's been a busy week. I am having a problem with one of my workers. He is about 60 years old and acts 10..We have a task sheet at every location for the workers to check off what is to be done on that particular night. Well, it is on that sheet that I will leave a message if I need to. Well, when I checked his task sheet, I noticed that over my name, he had put a swastika. Now how messed up is that. When I talked to my boss later in the day, he asked how my day was going. I said fine other than the fact that this guy had me pissed off. I then explained the situation. He is going to write a letter to the guy telling him that this behavior is unacceptable. I am to document any other problems and if it continues, this guy will be let go.
And why is this happening? Because I want him to do the job properly..
Most of the workers have a set amount of time to get a job done. If they can get it done earlier, they still get paid for that set amount. Which is not a problem for most. When I was doing cleaning, I could get my bank done in about half the time. The difference is, we have a couple of people that are doing the work in less than half the time, but there buildings are not thoroughly cleaned. We have had some complaints. I think my boss needs to let them know that if it continues, he will change the way things have been and they will have to stay on the job for the full amount of time allotted.

It was almost 60 degrees today..Well, I think that's what it was. It sure felt like it. I turned off my heat last night. And if the weather stays this nice, I will keep it off. It was a touch chilly in the house this morning. But by afternoon, I had even opened up a couple of windows..Oh that was nice. Fresh air. You can't beat it.
I am so looking forward to warmer weather. As I'm sure everyone is.

I think I'm going to start walking again. I used to walk everyday. Sometimes twice a day. I haven't done that for a couple of years. I've been lacking motivation. I need to find it again. That and water...lol. I used to drink water all the time. I have been in a soda rut. I did buy a case of water the other day. I've been drinking a little more than usual. Now I just have to up that some.

Well, it's getting late and I'm tired..Time to get some zzzzzzzzzzzzzs..
Have a great week-end!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

It's been a long day. And now to top it all off, who ever has their clothes in the dryer are taking their sweet time retrieving them. Which means that I can't get my clothes in. Now don't get me wrong, I have forgotten that I have clothes in the washer or dryer..To fix that problem so that I wouldn't inconvenience anyone, I started using my timer. Problem fixed..The joys of apartment living..lol

My night at my nieces was great. As I predicted, my sil and I were too tired to go out by the time the baby was asleep.Which was probably a good thing, since he woke an hour after being put to bed. He stayed up for two more hours. He's teething. Poor little guy. He has baby signing videos..Oh my gosh, I learned alot of signs. It was actually fun..The woman on the video does a lot of singing. So the next thing you know, we have that in our heads and we are singing the same tunes..lol
It was a fun night. I'm glad I went.
We had ordered Chinese food for dinner. It was exceptionally good.

I came home Sunday about 1:00. I had a small job that I had to cover. Then came home and unpacked.

Last night I went to be around 11:00. I get a call from one of my workers at 2:00am.
The vacuum wouldn't work. I gave him a few suggestions on things to try..Nope, still not working..Okay, I'm on my way down there. It's about 20 miles from home.
So, I get there. Park across the street from the restaurant. I open the side door of the van to get out my vacuum. I am parked about two car spots away from the corner. I see a car pull up across the street. The driver gets out of the car, I hear very loud music. He opens the back door and it looks like he pulls out a three foot pipe. Then two other guys get out of the car. Now I am scared. I close the side door, get back in the van and call my worker. He tells me that he is outside now and that those guys are surveyors..WTH? They are doing something under the bridge. Who does surveying at 2:30 in the morning? It still seems strange to me. I have to tell you, I was really glad that Gary was there.
Anyway, I do a quick vacuum job. Take the broken one home with me and I don't get back to sleep until almost four am.....I woke up at nine.

Today it was run out to the office and pick up another vacuum. Take the broken one in to get fixed. Drop the other one off for Gary and train the new girl...
I'm going to take an easy day tomorrow..lol

My friend Larry invited me over for dinner. Chicken, potatoes and garlic bread. After dinner we sat around and chatted a little. I invited him over for dinner tomorrow night. I am going to make pork stir fry....

I finally got my clothes in the dryer..10:04pm..We aren't supposed to use the washer and dryer after 10..and all I want to do is go to bed..lol

Good night, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite...lol