Wednesday, August 3, 2011

I've started an entry a few times only to lack the motivation and energy to finish it..

I'm at such a low place where work is concerned...I hate that it consumes so much of my time..even
when I'm not working, it is at the for front of my thoughts..I'm constantly trying to figure out what I should do next..
I'm scared to stay and scared to move on to something else..would I even be able to find something else??

In order to move on to another job, I first have to get a car...On the bright side, I did go to a dealership and was approved for a brand new car..the monthly payments would be higher than I can afford..
I would however at least be able to purchase a good used vehicle..that has taken some of the stress off of my shoulders..

The new supervisor that we hired to handle the seven late night buildings that we have has been out of work for over a week..She ended up in the hospital where they did tests for a week..then she had her gall bladder and appendix removed last Friday..I talked to her on Monday..she was home and feeling very sore...
I didn't have the heart to ask when she thought she might be able to return..I didn't want it to appear like I only cared about that..although it is a great concern to me..

In the meantime I have been handling all of my accounts and the restaurants too..and it is way too much for me..I have been working part time...lol...part time days..part time evenings and part time late night...
I'm still training at the restaurant, and then night before last, my most reliable employee didn't make it to work..he said he had fainted and woke up on his floor..It was 3:30 in the morning and I wasn't going to make him come in..then last night he decided that he needed one more night off..
So between 1:00am and 6:15am I was at 2 buildings supervising the work, (and helping at one), cleaning one restaurant by myself, dropping off keys at another...
No wonder I was crying yesterday when I left the office..my boss asked if I was feeling overwhelmed?? WHAT does he think??

I have given up this whole summer of spending time with my little grandkids and I'm not doing it anymore..I don't want to be working all hours of the day and night..I want to put my hours in and come home and have time to do what I want to do....

So, the search begins...I'm doing it via the web of course..I put an application in at one of the areas larger hospitals for housekeeping..and I'll continue to search until the right one comes along..

On a bright note..I did take three vacation days for the week-end of the 12th..I shouldn't have to use my vacation days for week-ends, but I don't want to take the chance that something will come up with the restaurants and then it will be my responsibility to fix it..
My daughter and I rented a camp site in the Dells...Originally we were going to take Paris, and the three little ones...I got the okay from both of my step-daughters...now one of them has not answered either my text or facebook message...I heard from her MIL that her son doesn't really feel comfortable with Mason being so far away from them...ARE you KIDDING me..he has spent almost the entire summer at his other grandmas house..and the three of them decided that Mason could play outside while his grandma works inside...and she checks on him every 15 min..
He is only 7..Certainly not old enough to play outside without supervision...
Oh damn..I got off track..lol...sorry..

Then we thought at least Destiny and Cameron would be able to come..as it turns out, Cameron was supposed to go up north and stay with my ex..Okay fine...I guess Destiny will be the one to go with us...
Now I see on facebook that both Destiny and Cameron are up north..so, I guess they plan on having them back before next Friday..which means both of them will be able to go with me to the Dells...I'm really happy about that:)
The sad thing is that Mason will not be there...I don't ever want him to wonder why he didn't get to go with us..Because let me tell you...the other kids will be sure to tell him about their trip...it's too bad..he's going to miss out on a great time..

So, that's my life in a nutshell.....same old, same old.....I'm going to work on changing that...

Keep your fingers crossed that I find the right job and that everything falls into place:)

Sorry for turning this into a book...

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