Saturday, December 31, 2011

So, I had a mini cry this morning...lol..don't know why...

I sat here thinking of why I would be feeling emotional..These are some of the things that I came up with..

My ex, who was a controlling, sometimes a mean and sarcastic person has someone to share his life with..And that doesn't seem fair to me..
Now granted, everyone knows that he is with her for what she has..and I feel that if you are with someone for the wrong reasons, it WILL come back to haunt you..
But the fact is, I feel that I deserve to have a nice man in my life..I would like to have a nice man in my life.
I don't dwell on it, I don't cry the blues about it..I live my life with purpose..and give to the people in it..
But I feel ready to have a person to share time with..I just don't know how to go about meeting someone..
LOL..I always tell my friends that the best way to meet someone is through your friends and that they are lacking in that area..

I think I get the after the Holiday blues...I work so hard at the build up.. I love to make a nice Christmas for everyone..I truly love Christmas!! The thought of celebrating the birth of Jesus truly warms my heart..

My Moms birthday is this month..Jan. 16th..
It is also the month that my Mom passed away..and although I'm fine most of the time, I think my inner self finds it hard to deal with the loss.
Being without the person that means the most to me is heart wrenching.
I think sometimes I just want to be the child again..I miss my Mom..

My job situation does not help my mental well being...lol...
I will be working again this week-end..only because I have to deal with the restaurants..and that sucks...
My boss did offer to take care of the one restaurant that needs to be done this week-end..and we have one of the specialty guys taking care of the other two restaurants that we have to help with..BUT, my boss also has two restaurants that he has to make sure are taken care of and I didn't want him to have to worry about any more..
With the crowds they are going to have tonight, they are going to be one hot mess...and we have such a limited time to get them cleaned..I think the cleaners deserve to have a little bit of extra help..and my boss can't be everywhere..
So, I will give a helping hand..
My friends are getting a room at a hotel that is having a band and food for New Years..I think I'll go and spend a little time with them before I have to head out to clean..there will be another couple with them.
I again will be the 5th wheel..lol..
I told her that I won't stay until midnight unless there is a nice single guy there to give a New Years kiss to..lol...

I feel better now..I know this will be a great year...I'm calling it MY YEAR...lol...

It's all about a positive attitude, Right??

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year!! May it be filled with all that you wish for!!

2 comments:

Hollie said...

I understand totally! Praying you find a wonderful guy soon!

I know what you mean about Christmas. I'm usually blue afterwards. It's like you prepare for months & in a blink of an eye it's over.

Lucy said...

I understand quite well. I was one of the 5th wheel for a while after Lee died and it is hard.