Saturday, December 28, 2013

I had a dream about J tonight...I woke up crying at 1:45am..
It had a lot of crazy things in it to begin with and then he was there sitting at the picnic table next to me...He had on a white beany hat...and he looked rough..like he hadn't slept in a while..
He said, " I need all of your fifties Grandma"..I asked why and he said because he needed Albuteral...(which is for people with asthma)..then his girlfriend was there next to him and I wasn't sure if we should talk about it in front of her and he smiled and said, " she knows everything about me"...I told him I needed to hug him and I did...That's when I started crying and woke up..

This hurt is so deep and there are times that I think it actually hurts physically...and I don't know if I'm going to live through it...
There are times I am so angry at him...as I was tonight..Maybe that's why he came to me in my dream....

There are times, I think I am over the crying...(lol..silly me) I can talk about him..I can explain to someone that doesn't know that I lost my grandson on Oct.4th...without a tear or a crack in my voice.....AND then, it comes and I don't think I'll be able to stop it.....
My body must know that I need to get through the week of work. Because it seems to come the hardest on the week-ends..usually Friday night...

I wish this nightmare would end and we could go back to when the kids were little...Oh God, help me through this....I don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life without my grandson.. 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

I am feeling so discouraged...I don't know where my blog family went...but they seemed to have disappeared when I needed them most:(
Maybe death is too much for most..
It's too much for me, but I don't get to leave. I have to live with it every day..every minute...It does not go away..

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I don't even know what I have to say anymore.......

I go to work in the morning...I come home and try to eat something and maybe get a few minutes of sleep..and then at 5:30 I head to  my second job..I get home about 8:30 and sit and figure out what HAS to be done before I go to bed..Not that I always Get it done, lol..but I do  think about it...

My mind runs a hundred miles a minute every day........
I think of my grandson every minute of the day...sometimes it feels like I am moving on..."being" normal...but I'm not, JJ is in my thoughts every minute..I don't know what comes next..I don't know how life can go on when we are missing one of the most important people in it...
It's just not fair..

We go shopping, we go out to eat, we work, we do the things every day that we have always done...but we do it knowing that he is gone...we do it while we wonder how we can face the next day...

And now to top it off...My girlfriends father has passed away and my daughter and I will head to Eagle River this week-end for the funeral..
I had taken off from my night job on Friday for an awards function for my day job...and now I won't be able to go to that..
The ride to E.R. is about 4 hours..My daughter will pick me up at work at three and we will head out...
The funeral is on Saturday...
My sister in law also lives in Eagle River...so we will spend some time with her while we are up there..
Her husband is having surgery tomorrow...ugh..it just won't stop....Praying that all goes well for Richard....

I guess that's about all I have for now....It's after ten and I better think about going to bed.....

Saturday, October 26, 2013

This is the Memorial a woman on one of the Marine sites made for us...

It has been three weeks of hell....I say this is our new normal..We don't have a choice...it's unfair...Everyone keeps saying how strong we are...No, we are not strong..we don't have a choice...We have to think of the other kids..I still have to go to work...it just sucks no matter how you look at it.....

Last week Wednesday, JJ returned home..We went to the airport with our gunny sargent...There were so many people there..oh my gosh...Bikers Galore...from the Patriot Guards, and Rolling Thunder...They not only escort you to the funeral home, but they stay there so that you are not bothered by the Westboro Church NUTS..


There were Marines, the news stations and probably 18 motorcycle cops..
The escort home was an amazing site...People standing along the side of the roads, in every different township, they had one of their firetrucks and firemen saluting...

It was probably a 20 mile drive and they had barricaded each intersection..it was a huge procession...

Once back at the funeral home, we were finally able to see him..
It was (and is) so hard to comprehend..but we were glad he was home..it was one less thing to worry about...

We had the viewing on Friday the 18th...
My daughter greeted people for four hours...Literally...four hours..
I don't know how she held up..I think it helped give her something to do...she heard stories about JJ from other young Marines..Two boys paid their own way from North Carolina to get here to pay their respects...

The Patriot Guards stayed outside the whole time..and it was cold..I kept trying to get them to come in and get something to eat..they wouldn't..they said they had a job to do....Protecting my grandson....

Saturday was his service..we had an hour and a half time of viewing before the service..They did the 21 gun salute, played taps and one of his high school teachers spoke, as did his recruiting sargent...
I pray to God that I never have to live thru this again....it was the hardest thing I have ever done..
And on top of that, we had to deal with JJ's dad and so called step-mother being there..I know we are not supposed to hate,, but I hate those two people more than I can say..it took everything I had in me not to slap both of them..
They did nothing but torture my grandson and then sit there like this is hurting them...Well, let me tell you, I did not see ONE tear from either of them....
I hate both of them and hope they rot in hell for the torture they put JJ thru....

The paper work finally came for his cremation...So, that took place yesterday..and this morning, we go to the funeral home to pick up the urns....
And then we are going to go to Great America in Illinois..I know, it sounds weird..but we need to Do something..we need a break from all of it..we need to spend one on one time with Monique and Paris..We probably won't stay long and we really won't be getting away from anything, but it may occupy our minds for a minute or two...

On Monday we will intern part of JJ's ashes at the cemetery..One more heartache to go thru...and it STILL doesn't seem real...
My heart is just broken..... 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Waking up is the hardest:(

My grandsons obituary is in the newspaper today...and sadly so is the obituary for my former father in law...Tragic....Even more so because my grandson never got to know him..
I think the last time my f-i-l saw him was when he was under the age of two...
Rest in peace Harold.....

We have almost every thing done for JJ's return home..I think the only thing we have to do now is finish his picture board..I found the most recent pictures of him when we were all camping in the Dells in June..

My daughter found the most beautiful burial plot..He will have a tree on either side of him..we will be able to plant live flowers and small greenery..In fact, a girl that she went to school with works for a local nursery and the have offered to go there and do the planting for us..Everyone has done so much..it has touched our hearts in ways we can't even explain....

The hardest part is going to be dealing with the AWFUL Westboro Baptist Church..They are so vile...they do protests at the funerals of fallen soldiers...I know the Marines were keeping an eye on their website to see if they were planning on coming here, but I decided to check for myself..In one way, I'm glad I did, because, sure enough, there at the top of the list is my grandsons name....OMG..I just felt sick that they would have a list of 11 people that they are going to protest...
Well, let me tell you......they are going to have a fight on their fucking hands when they get here...NOT only with the Patriot Guards be here, but my nephew is getting ahold of the Rolling Thunder...They are a group of Vets that ride motor cycles and they will NOT let them get close..We will also enlist the help of the Barking Lot..that is where my grandpuppy goes to day care..They said they would Bring out the Dogs...We know these dogs are loving family dogs but they will look mighty mean..90% of them will be Pitts.....

I don't know how these people can call themselves a church..it makes me literally sick to my stomach...

As it turns out, JJ won't be home until Wed..Shannon wanted to leave him at Dover where he will be looked after by his Marine brothers for as long as possible...

Tomorrow we will go and finalize his headstone..oh it is so beautiful..It stands about 4 1/2 feet tall...It is a square pillar..

Then we will be done until he comes home on Wed......and then the hardest part will start....

Please keep us in your hearts and prayers that we can get thru this.......  

Thursday, October 10, 2013


These are just some of the Memorials that have been made for JJ....
Our Delta group that was started when the boys were in boot camp have rallied around us...They started a fund raiser and have flooded our face book pages with thoughts, prayers and love....

My daughter Shannon has been on the news numerous times..The first time was because of JJ being from our area..then the national news got into it because of the government shut down..they are not sending out the death benefits that usually go out in 36 hours..there also might be a problem with the funeral home getting paid because of the shut down..right now there aren't any checks being written for these things...

My daughter is doing the interviews more for other families that can't afford to take time off of work to mourn and prepare for their loved ones to come home..believe me, it takes a long time..
JJ died on the 5th but won't be home until next Tuesday and then the viewing will be on Friday the 18th and the services on Sat..

Shannon is blessed to have many hours of personal time off..and she gets paid...
Some families don't have that..they have to go to work while trying to mourn their loved ones..such a shame...

Tomorrow morning we go to do the obituary..that will be another trying time....
Then in the afternoon we will go to JJ's high school for a Memorial service...
Then a few days break until he comes home on Tuesday...

During all of this time, his father is acting like he is heartbroken..his dumb ass wife is acting the same..When JJ was little she used to make him sleep on the basement floor because he was a bed wetter...NO blankets..she said she was sick of doing laundry...AND NOW, she wants to act like the heartbroken step-mom...Oh Lord, help us deal with them at the service...

We also have to be worried about some baptist church that might protest at the funeral...God help them if they try that....
The Marines are keeping an eye on their web site and if it looks like they're going to show up, the will get even MORE MARINES  to stand guard...
Such a shame that people would be so cruel....

Well, on that note, I need to either do some cleaning around here or try to get some sleep...
I only worked for a few hours today at my day job..I'll work tonight and then I'll be off for the rest of the week-end.....and I need that:)

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

I thought it was about time to post another entry:)

It's been a rough few days for sure...In some respects it feels like it has been weeks..not just four days.....

Yesterday, JJ was flown from Germany to Dover Air Force base..
This is my beloved grandson......

They will do the autopsy today...We found out today that he won't be home until next Tuesday..Waiting makes things so much harder....

The news crews have descended upon my daughter likes flies..
She didn't even realize that that would happen until she found out that they had talked to his dad...the person that hasn't seen him for over 6 years..the person that went to jail for beating him...and the person that didn't even know he was in Afghanistan....

She decided to do the interviews so that it would be correct...
After the local stations got what they wanted she heard from "Today"...she did the interview and totally turned it around to reflect on the fact that the government is shut down..they also used war footage and said that JJ was on the front line doing one of the most dangerous jobs..that is NOT true..he was an intelligence specialist.....Once they found out how pissed off she was, they told her that they would correct it and it will air today....

Yesterday we went to the funeral home to make final arrangements...
The viewing will be Friday the 18th and service on Sat..he will have full military honors...

I found out that my ex-step-daughter...the very one that said she didn't want my grandson Mason to see me anymore, said she was coming to the service...OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT....I sent her a message stating that she is not welcome to come..she sent back "Whatever" and then, "Then Mason isn't coming".....Dumb bitch..does she not realize that no matter what she says, I have been seeing Mason..she is not one of the brightest people around..

On Tuesday the Marines will escort us to the airport to meet JJ's plane...there will be a small ceremony and then he will go to the funeral home..
We still don't know the extent of his injuries, so we don't know if we will be able to have an open casket...either way, Shannon and I will view him to say our good byes....Oh God.....I still can't believe that this is happening.......

I'll try to keep you up dated......   

Saturday, October 5, 2013

I don't even know where to  begin....

My daughter answered her door tonight to 2 Marines standing there...........................................................................................
They came to tell her that my grandson was dead...He died of a gun shot wound in Afghanistan...At this point, we don't know any other details...we think he may have committed suicide...Oh God, this can't be happening.....
I don't know how we're going to get thru this.....
We don't know when they will bring him home..We may know more tomorrow....They are going to come back and try to answer any questions we have....Oh God...isn't this something that happens to other people???????? No, we are those people....
I NEVER thought I would have to bury one of my grandkids...
For Gods sake, he was only 19...he was still a baby......my baby...and now, he's just gone?????
I blame his father...pure and simple...He physically and emotionally abused him...my daughter begged the courts to not make him go by his fathers house for visits...and I can't even tell you how long that took before they finally agreed........
It doesn't seem real yet..and I'm sure it won't until he comes home...
Please, Please, Keep JJ in your prayers........
 

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Just a short entry.....

My (ex) Father - in - law is coming to the end of his life..
I'm not sure how long it will be, but from what my sister-in-law (ex), has said, he is not doing good at all...

When you get divorced, there are no rules..you make them up as you go..or you adjust to what the other people want...

My ex-husband Mike is not a person that thinks families should stay friends...lol...He doesn't want anyone to figure out that he is always telling someone bs.....He isn't aware that his sister and I have a friendship..Which is a whole story in itself..lol..( I get upset sometimes that she doesn't stand up to him and that it's none of his business if we are friends...
Anyway..........

I had recently told my son Jeremy that he needed to stop at the shop to say hi to his grandpa...now that won't happen..He did see him last month..he had stopped at the shop to see him..He did that on his own..and that makes me proud that he would think of that..
With aspergers syndrome, they don't always think outside of their own circle of time....
He also called him last month on his birthday. His grandpa wasn't home but he left a message..which is another huge step for him....

Last summer I ran into my father in law at walmart...he was warm and friendly and it felt good to talk to him for a bit:)

Growing up without a dad around, I never had that father figure..I always felt I had that with Harold..In the 17 years that his son and I were married, there was never a time that I was angry at him...(different story with my mother in law...lol..)
When my husband and I got divorced, I still worked a few hours a day down at the shop with his dad...until my ex made that impossible...when that happened I cried so hard..I called my ex and screamed at him...I had lost my marriage and then had to deal with the loss of this man also...so unfair...
The last 5 years or so, I have been making cookies for Harold at Christmas...This is something I always did when Mike and I were married...I really just wanted him to know that I was thinking of him...we always had a joke that I took the calories out...lol...

Today when I went to the store to get goodies for the kids, I picked up a card for Harold...The outside of the card says "Remember, whether it's a good day or a bad day....it's always a LOVE you day!!
Perfect....Jeremy comes home tomorrow and then I'm going to have him sign it also and drop it off in Harolds mailbox so Kelly can get it to him...

I was doing okay with everything until I told my daughter about it..then it became real...
Now I've had a good cry and I need to get it together before all of the kids show up...lol...It will be a good day:)
Good morning!!

I hope everyone had a great week:) Mine was okay..a bit busy as usual....lol...
Thursday I started my new part time job..I think it will work out well...It's a good sized clinic..but it's been kept up well..the worst part is all of the mopping..we are supposed to share that duty.. The other girl will do the nurses stations, trash and dusting..The problem is, the girls that were doing the training didn't do any vacuuming in the offices or wipe finger prints off the desk or do any dusting in there..I know what gets done, the other girl doesn't..
The manager asked if I would be in charge of making sure everything is done correctly...Well, I'm not sure I want that responsibility...that's why I got out of management..lol....Plus, he didn't mention a wage increase...Humm, I don't think so...
I'll have to talk to him again and let him know that the new girl was not trained right...
I am going to be in charge of bathrooms and exam rooms..
It was really nice to get in the car and drive the block and a half to get home..loving that part...lol...
Yesterday I started an hour early at my day job..I wanted to leave at 2 so I could get to the house that I clean every other Friday. My boss signed me out on my time card for 2 but told me that I could leave at 1:30...so nice....It shows that she appreciates me:)
I got the house done about 3:45..came home and showered and then headed to the clinic at 5:20..lol...so it was a very hectic day but not as bad as I had thought it would be...

I have my baby sitting job today...They are going to bring the kids to my house..Yay....I told them they could leave the kids over night and just pay me for the time they are actually gone..I'm sure they will be honest about it:)
I'm also going to have Cameron and Destiny over for the night. I thought it would be nice for the kids to have someone to play with..We're going to have a pop corn and movie night..it should be fun..
I went to Walmart at 7 this morning to get some goodies...Now I just want to get my laundry done and the house cleaned...

It's a beautiful day out...I'm hoping that the rain holds off so the kids can play outside for a bit...

Hope you all have a wonderful week-end:)

Saturday, September 21, 2013

This is a picture of me and my brother...take a look at that tv..
Wow, they've come a long way...lol..
I think I was about 6 there and my brother was 8..

We don't have many pictures of when we were kids..this is one of the very few...My mom didn't have much and with four kids there really wasn't anything left over for a camera and film..plus getting it developed..lol..

My orientation was cancelled on Friday..I will go on Tuesday after work..On Monday I go to the clinic for my pre-employment testing..I'm ready to get things started..(We'll see how I feel after I do get started)...

I went shopping with my daughter today..I put a few things on lay-away for the little kids..I figure if I at least get everything picked out, I won't have too many lines to stand in...

I bought a few smaller things and brought them home...SOOOOO, My Christmas shopping has begun..YAY....

We went to Chili's for lunch..soup and salad..yummy...

When I came home, I decided to clean out my garage..It looks so nice now..I don't know why I love a clean garage as much as I do...

Now I am doing my laundry..One load I hang the stuff (work shirts)..one load in the dryer and one in the washer..I can't wait until it's all done..I'm ready to jump into bed..lol...

Tomorrow I will go with my daughter to watch the Packers play the Bengals...and then it's time to get ready for a very busy week...

I hope everyone is enjoying their week-end!!

Monday, September 16, 2013

It's "Hooky" Monday....Lol...yes, I am playing hooky today...
Just didn't feel like going to work..It was a long week-end with having company..Even though we didn't do much on Saturday, it still seems to take it's toll...

The Blake Shelton concert was a lot of fun...Although it was really hard to get a good picture of him..We had floor seats and were not too far from the stage..I thought this would make for great pictures..not so much...lol..I think the stage lights were the problem..they kept drowning out the people..
 This is my sister in law loving every moment:)
 The great Blake Shelton.

After the show, we stopped at a bar in Germantown and had a drink..I ran into someone that I haven't seen in months..It was nice to just sit and relax..

Linda left for home about 11:00am Sunday morning and I headed over to my daughters house..We went to a bar/ restaurant to watch our beloved Packers win their game:) Lots of cheering and hooting and hollering going on...lol....

I have a job interview this afternoon...(another reason to want the day off)..I get out of work at 3, I made the appointment for 4...I figured that gave me plenty of time to get there..I have to go downtown..Lots of after work traffic..then I would have to change clothes at work..just seemed like more trouble than I wanted to deal with...lol..
I hope this works out..the job is a little more than I wanted to deal with...but I'm so sick of being broke that I'll deal with it:)
It's Monday thru Friday..3 1/2 hours a night..
AND the best part is, it is in my town...so travel time should be about 10 minutes..that will make a huge difference..most of the other part time jobs I've had are 30 minutes away..and  that is not fun when you are already tired..and there is snow coming down..lol..thinking ahead here...

Last night I wanted to print out my recommendation letter from my ex boss and of course, my printer isn't working anymore..So, today I went to the library and printed out 5 copies:)

Now I only have to worry about taking a shower and getting ready..so much nicer to do it this way..and I still had some personal days at my full time job, so I won't lose any money:)

I hope you all have a great day!! I'll let you know how it goes:) 




Saturday, September 7, 2013





I thought I would start my entry with a couple pictures of baby Laylana..She's such a sweetie..but she can be a sassy one too..lol..

It was a long week at work..We are having an open house tomorrow and everything had to be polished...lol..we have LOTS of wood work...I was so tired yesterday that I left half an hour early..Believe me, I had done all I was going to be able to do...

There is a small area in the kitchen area of the small dinning room that has vinyl flooring..it has long since lost all of  the protective covering..and looks horrible..so I suggested to my boss that she pick up a bottle of mop and glow... I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it made..I'm anxious to see it tomorrow to see how it holds up...

I'm actually going to be working the open house..I'll sit at a desk at the front door and greet people..and try to get them to sign up for a  gift certificate we are giving away..
I'll get about 4 hours..I'll be able to use them next Friday to leave early...I have the Blake Shelton concert with my sister in law...Yay....

I was so tired last night that I went to bed at 8:30...lol...I think I was sleeping by 9...I did wake up a couple of time during the night but was able to go right back to sleep...

This morning I have done a couple loads of laundry and dyed my black work pants..that was a job...I did it in my bath tub..I hope I left them in long enough...I'm going to run them thru the washer twice..

I don't have anything planned for today other than doing a little cleaning...
I should finish working on my table..hummmm, not sure about that..maybe I'll take a nap and give that some thought.....

Have a great week-end:)

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Back from the Windy City.....

We had a really nice time:) For the most part, things went smoothly..
Had a few glitches with directions and changing our route plan..The weather played a few games with us..lol...but we made it thru...

We went to the hotel and checked in and pretty much had to head out right away to get to the concert...

As we were leaving the hotel we could see nasty clouds in the distance..Yep, right where we were headed..lol...


 These two pictures are of the birds that were having a problem flying due to the strong winds..We could not stop laughing..I couldn't figure out why they would just stay in one spot..The light was not on fire..

This was actually the first sign of nasty weather...

By the time we got to the venue, it had started raining and the was a ton of lightening..
They weren't letting anyone in so we sat in the car..We finally decided to go and get something to eat..
We found a Sushi place..I had cashew chicken and a California roll and an Unaki (not sure of the spelling) roll..It is eel..sounds gross but is Very good...




We made our way back to see if the concert was going to happen..
Kid Rock was already playing...
It was an awesome concert...This was his roll back concert..He was trying to show his appreciation to his fans by only charging $20.00 a ticket...
I think that says a lot about his character..



It was worth the trip for sure:)

The next morning we had to head another 150 miles south west  to pick up Lauries friend to give her a ride back to Wisconsin. It turned out she was headed to the same town that I live in..

On the ride I got a call from my grandson Mason's other grandma, Chris...Her daughter died..They had been estranged for a couple of years and had just reconnected because her  husband had left her..Chris knew that she was distraught but never thought her daughter would take her own life..and so far, that's what it is looking like..
She leaves behind a young son..so darned sad..We can't always see that someone is going into such a dark place that they don't think they can come back from it..

The funeral is going to be Tuesday..Not the circumstances in which I wanted to see Mason..but I'll certainly be there for Chris, Tim and Mason..

Today I worked on the table I am refinishing..ugh..if I ever say anything about doing another project again, PLEASE tell me not to...lol...

I have to get another can of stripper to finish it..I used gel stripper first, then decided to try the spray on..it seemed easier in some respects but I don't think it worked as well as the brush on stuff...

Well, I'm running out of steam so I'm going to go to bed:)
Have a great Labor Day!!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Yaaaay, It's Wednesday!!!


We have one girl out at work so we have been doing her stuff along with our own..It hasn't been too bad and we have been able to get a little extra time..But I'll tell you, I am tired at the end of the day...lol...
The heat and humidity has not helped one bit..I am so over this extreme heat..

Last week-end, I had Cameron over..He is such a good kid and loves to spend time with me...
 We had pop corn and a movie....
 Lol..he's sleeping with my lamb chop puppet and the remote in his hand...
 Laylana
Cameron and Laylana...


I took a couple of pictures when I picked Cameron up:)

It was actually supposed to be Mason's turn to come over...well, let the drama begin......

Here's a short back drop of what has been going on...
Melissa - my ex- step daughter
Tim - her boyfriend - father of Mason
Chris -  Tim's mom

Some months back, Tim, Melissa and Mason moved in with Chris.
They were having problems and the word was that she had cheated on Tim  but they were trying to work it out..

It didn't work and she moved out...She didn't take Mason with her.
Two weeks ago, I noticed that she didn't appear to have a face book page any more...In reality, she had blocked me..

I then talked to Chris and she said that Melissa told Tim that she didn't want Mason to see me anymore...What?? I have no idea what I did to make her angry..well, to be honest, she is an angry person by nature..she is her fathers daughter for sure..

She said that I had anger issues...uh yeah, when your father is trying to beat the hell out of me I'M GOING TO FIGHT BACK..

Tim has said that he is not going to keep Mason from me..Although I have opted to wait a bit because she will make Mason's life hell if she knows he was with me..
She is one of those women that will tell him if he loves her he won't want to be with me..
My view point is to let the dust settle a bit before I have him over again..I think I'll start out by going to breakfast with him and his other grandma..
She has said some really bad things to him already..about his dad..she doesn't care that all she is doing is hurting her son..Tim is a good dad to Mason and Mason will be much better off with him than with her..

I was afraid that Melissa would try to turn Monica against me..but that didn't work for her..I talked to Monica when I went to pick Cameron up and she said she has no problems with me having the kids..I'm so glad she didn't let this come between us...

So, it's always something in my corner of the world...lol...

On Friday, I'm going to Chicago to see Kid Rock..My boss gave me the tickets..she is staying in town to work some of the Harley stuff that is going on...My girlfriend Laurie is going to go with me..
She was going to get a hotel so we wouldn't have to make the long drive back after the concert but it seems that hotels are booked up all the way to Chicago for the Harley 110th...

I think we'll take our bags with us and see if we can find a room..if not, we'll drive back, no big deal...

Well, guess that's about it for me..I'm going to throw something together for supper..Jeremy is home tonight so I guess I'll cook..lol....
No kidding, last night I ate pop corn for supper...lol..Made on the stove...with butter:) yummy....

Have a great night

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

This may not be a post that everyone agrees with, but I need to post it anyway..I am so mad, upset and discouraged by this country..........

I applied for food stamps online last week..I received a letter saying that they wanted to do a phone interview...I took that as a good sign that I would be accepted..NOT...I make three hundred dollars too much a month..I actually started to cry when she told me that...I told her that I know she doesn't make the rules..but it's a shame that someone that really needs help can't get it while there are people that are able bodied and don't work but just keep having kids and receive food stamps...and then they sell them and the kids still don't eat properly...
This country has it's priorities messed up..We need to start helping the people that are trying to help themselves and to hell with the rest of them...
No, we do it the complete opposite..We give to those that don't work ( and could)...

I am so upset..They take your gross wages..that is before taxes...What I actually bring home is way below the limit..but it doesn't matter..they go by the gross income...

Tomorrow when I go to work, I have to drop my health insurance..that will give me an extra 150.00 a month...Besides it doesn't make any sense to have the insurance when I can't pay my portion..I already have two doctor bills that I am going to have to make payments on...and that is with out having had the actual physical...

Sorry for the rant..but I am feeling so let down by my own government...


I'll get over it...and maybe I'll see what I can do to make some changes in the way these things are handled.....

I hope your week is going well:) Mine will get better:)

Sunday, August 18, 2013

It's Sunday afternoon and I think I need a nap..lol..Not sure if I will actually fall asleep but won't mind if I do....

Yesterday I went to my friends house for a welcome home party for her son..He has been in Afghanistan since Nov..
Her daughter Lindsey was there also with her little girl Jana..
Lindsey has spent the last 3 years in Japan with her Marine husband..Jana was actually born is Japan..They just came back to the states a few months ago and are now stationed in South Carolina..They made the 17 hour trip home so she could see her brother..
Both will be leaving on Tuesday and my friend Julie and her husband Mike will be empty nesters again:)

Today my daughter and I headed out to the lake..A girl that my daughter went to school with was having a birthday party for her son..He turned 5..We only stayed for a few hours but it was still nice to be out and about..

The week-end goes by so fast..and then it's back to the work week..
We always wish for the week to go fast so we can have a break from the mundane work schedule..but in doing that, our summer is also going by so quickly..and I don't want that to happen..lol..guess I'll have to hope the work week slows down. 

On that note, I'll close...I hope everyone has a wonderful week:) 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Just a few more pictures....

 Martin Luther King Jr. was killed while standing on the balcony near his room..#306


 Monique...



 
I'm Back......lol....


We had a really nice time...for the most part..oh, that sounds terrible...

We left at 7:00am...got to Chicago at 9:00am to pick Monique up..
 And then we were on our way..I think we made three very short stops...

My daughter is so excited about Tennessee..I was excited too...It was nice to see a little of our country on the ride down..

I was not too impressed with Memphis..Which really surprised me. I had enjoyed going through Nashville some years back and truly expected to feel the same way about Memphis..

To me, it was all express way..every time we wanted to go somewhere, we had to get on  the express way and I didn't really enjoy that..the thought of having to do that every time I wanted to go somewhere let me know for sure that I didn't want to move there..
Especially as I get older..lol..that's the last thing I want to do..

I know we have the snow and cold here, but Wisconsin is a beautiful state..and I don't have to get on the express way every day....lol...

Another low point for me was having my feelings about my daughters boyfriend confirmed...ugh...I just don't like him..I won't get into it, but there were a few incidents that I wasn't pleased with..small things, but they showed his character..

All I can do is pray that this fizzles out...lol..which I'm sure it will.
Keep your fingers crossed that my daughter finally gets on 1st shift in Sept..THAT will play a large part in her staying here:)

I finally made it to Graceland and was very pleased with the experience..I went by myself as I wanted to do..It rained part of the time so that made the outside viewing a little tough..but I made the most of it...
I did by myself some souvenirs..I got a canvas bag, a coffee mug and a fridge magnet..I felt a little selfish getting so many things but it's ELVIS..lol...Oh, and I got a license plate holder..ha-ha...

The night before my daughters birthday my grandkids and I went down to her room and decorated her door...it was too darned cute..
We had also gone to the store across the street and gotten cupcakes to surprise her with:)

We went to Slave Haven...so awesome and informative..It's a house that was used for the underground railroad...

We went to mud island on the Mississippi...and even did a little paddle boat ride...

We went to see the ducks at The Peabody...it was cute..but I was more interested with the hotel itself..It was so grand..oh how I wish I could spend one night there..

We went to The National Civil Rights Museum..Where Martin Luther King Jr. was shot..It was something everyone should do..

We walked Beale St...we ended up going during the day..it was pretty low key..I'm sure it's hoping at night...

I'll post some pictures now...

 Monique, me and Paris outside of The Peabody..
 This is the tram we took to get to Mud Island..
 The Mississippi...
 Paris, Shannon and Monique...
 Graceland...
 These two pictures are Elvis' living room:)

 They had one of Elvis' jumpsuits in the museum at Mud Island and this is me being silly...
 The Mississippi..
 Me with my feet in the water:) They have the Mississippi carved in the walkway...filled with water of course..
 Slave Haven...
 Hope you enjoyed the pictures:)

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

 This is what I found when I moved the bookcase..lol....
 My youngest granddaughter, Laylana...
 Cameron sharing his juice with the baby...
 This is my finished buffet...I love it...
Destiny being a lazy bones..She had spent the night with me on Saturday:)

My pictures didn't show up in the order that I wanted them to..and I am far to lazy to try to fix it...lol...

Destiny spent the night with me over the week-end...we didn't do too much..We did have movie afternoon...I made pop corn and closed the blinds, I got my pillow and we kicked back on the couch and watched Alice in wonderland with Johnny Depp...It was really good...

I finished my buffet as much as I could without having an orbital sander..lol...There had been a lot of water damage on the top of it..I got it as sanded as I could doing it by hand...It didn't turn out too bad..I put a coat of stain on it and called it a day...

I do have to move my large picture that is on that wall..AND at some point, I will want to get a larger tv..Ha-ha...

When I re-arranged the living room for the buffet, I moved the bookcase and realized that when I painted, I painted right around it...lol...Luckily for me, I still had the same paint in the basement...

I keep all of the extra electronic equipment in one of the sections. In the other I keep all of my mailing items..stamps  and envelopes and such..In the third section, I'm thinking of putting some of my china....that way, if I'm in the mood for a touch of fancy I'll have them at hand:)

The Green Bay Packers are having family day at Lambeau Field..I had gotten two tickets..one for myself and one for my daughter..the tickets weren't outrageous...but well worth the money to see a scrimmage  and get to see the stadium...I have never been there...WELL...that is the same day that we are supposed to leave for Tennessee....ugh..I am so disappointed to miss family day in Green Bay...
Hum...maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get to go to a game:) Dreaming here...lol...

Anyway...we were supposed to take two cars..I was going to come home on Wednesday with the kids....Now, I've taken off the entire week so I don't have to worry about coming back early..we will now be taking one car and riding together...Yay..I didn't really want to make the ten hour trip with just the kids...
I can not wait to go to Graceland....a dream come true..honestly, I almost get teary just thinking about it....

I also want to go to the Alex Haley Museum..The Peabody Ducks, The house that Elvis lived in as a child, Sun Studios where he had his first contract, Beal st. and The National Civil Rights Museum...So excited....

Only 4 more days...I am 90 % packed...
We have to stop in Chicago and pick Monique up at the airport on our way down..She left for Orlando yesterday for a convention. It is the National Association for Black Journalist..She was selected to be there by a woman that has mentored her...
She got a pass with her name on it that says, Student Journalist.
They also gave her her first business cards...How exciting..She certainly is a wonderful young woman:)

My daughters 40th birthday is Monday..Yeah, I don't know how that can be when i don't even feel 40..lol...
I went to the dollar store and got streamers, balloons, s birthday center piece and some little mints that say Happy birthday..We will of course have a different room than my daughter, SO, I'm going to decorate her door..so when she comes out in the morning that is what she will see...and then I'm going to decorate our table...It should be fun:)

Well, time to start preparing for tomorrow..
Hope all is well for you:)

Sunday, July 21, 2013



This is my new great niece Penny!!

She is about 2 1/2 months old..and I was lucky enough to watch her for a few hours Friday evening...Her mommy and daddy needed a date night..lol...

She was pretty good...but man, you sure do forget how much work these little ones are...lol..She only slept for about 45 minutes..and she was here for almost 6 hours..
I don't think she has been away from her mommy and daddy too much..so that probably has something to do with it..

We went for a walk...and had rain for about 1 minute..I wasn't too worried about it with the heat we were having..lol...

Yesterday I didn't get too much done..I did my laundry and sanded on my buffet..that was it...
I hurt my back last week..and I think that has played a part in my being a bit lazy..I'm not even sure how I hurt it..I have thought that it is because of the way I was sitting in the car on the way to work..
Isn't it strange what can bring on back problems?

Today I got up at 6:00am...then headed over to Walmart to beat the crowds...I did some sanding on my buffet..and then stained my grandma's cane..I REALLY need to get to the car wash...it's been too long since I have done that..I wish I had an outside water source..I would do it by hand...

I know if I get it washed, it is going to rain...lol...

Guess that's about all of the excitement around here...
Hope everyone had the chance to recoup for the new week!!


Saturday, July 13, 2013

 Random pictures...This very larger turkey along with its mate lives in the area of where I work..I went to one of the windows to look outside to see if the deer were there...lol..and this thing was feet away from the window..Scared the devil out of me..lol...
 My daughter Shannon..we were at Summerfest..this was one of the lounging areas...so nice and comfy...
 This picture along with the next two, are of the storm as it was coming in...

 And last but not least...Cameron fits into my sandals...lol..He had forgotten his and we wanted to go for a walk so he decided to wear mine..they were a touch big but not enough to cause any problems..lol.....
I transfered pictures from my phone to the computer...Now I can clear out my phone...

I had a decent week at work..it's kind of long at times but I always muddle through..
I do need to find something to supplement my pay..I haven't heard from the people that I baby sat for..So today I sent them a text just to touch base..she said they have been very busy..but may need me at the end of July..ugh..not really what I wanted to hear..

I did go on a job interview the other day..the manager of an apartment complex is looking for a few people to have on call to do final cleans after people move out..I am going to help with an apartment on the 23rd...they pay $18.00 an hour...that's great but you can go months without having any work...I'll have to keep my fingers crossed that a lot of people move...lol...

I'm going to go back on Craigs list and on the baby sitting site to see if I can drum up any work..I need to do something...

Yesterday my daughter  and I went to Bastille days..Lots of food, music and drinking...Well, we don't really drink much so that leaves the food...Ha-ha...we shared a couple of items and then headed home...

Today we went to a couple of rummage sales...found a couple of small items...
Then we went to the cemetery where my moms husband is buried..I placed some of her ashes on his grave:) Long story short..his kids didn't want my mom to use the plot next to him..I finally told her to just give them the plot and I would place some of her ashes right on top of him..we had a good laugh about it..And now I have finally placed her ashes...

Tomorrow my daughter and grandkids are going to spend the day at the lake..I've made some tuna salad..we'll grill and do some swimming..I'm looking forward to that. I think I've only been in the water once this year.....

On that note, I'm going to get rolling here.....

Oh, and by the way........I have only had about 6, yes,  6 cigarettes since Monday at 3:30pm..... That is HUGE for me..I'm a pack (or more) a day girl...
It's been easier than it has ever been before....I don't know why but I'm blessed that it is working this time..Keep me in your prayers that I can continue:) Thank You.....