Sunday, March 3, 2013

I have been VERY busy this week-end...

I decided to clean out my storage locker..I  was only going to sort thru all of my Christmas bins..I have decided that since I don't use all of the items anymore, I didn't need to keep everything..It makes getting ready for Christmas such a chore, because each year I have to go thru all of the bins to decide which items I want to put out..Now I know what I have down there is what I will be using.. 

Once I got started I couldn't stop at the Christmas bins..lol..it was a lot of work but well worth it in the long run..I got rid of things I haven't used in forever..all of that "just in case" stuff..lol...

I now have 7 bins and a box that need to go to my daughters house. We will be having a rummage sale this summer..lol..the one thing I said I wouldn't do again..But, I need to do something with this stuff and I feel like it's just too much to take to Good Will...If I make a few bucks the time will be worth it..

I also went thru some of my jackets and am getting rid of the ones I don't wear anymore..I figure by the time summer gets here I will have a lot more...lol..I have a ton of tops that I just do not wear...

I have been feeling a little bit lonely lately...I was so sick that I didn't want to be around anyone and make them sick..and now that I'm not seeing Cameron and Destiny, I feel lost...
My older grandkids are always busy doing their own thing so I don't see them often..

Camerons birthday is March 6th and I'm feeling sad knowing that I won't be celebrating it with him..
His mom made the decision to stop our relationship and I don't think she even has a clue as to the damage that it will do..
I don't want him or Destiny to feel like I have abandoned them..I have always made a big deal of their birthdays and I know he will feel that loss..as will Destiny when her birthday comes in June..

I had thought of sending a card and a monetary gift...BUT...I don't have her address...and the more I thought about it, I wouldn't even know if she would give it to him..and even worse, that she would take the money and use it herself...Sad but true..she would do something like that...
So, I made the decision that no matter how hard it is for me, I would not send anything..
I guess I kind of feel like, if she isn't going to let me have a relationship with the kids then why should I send anything..Believe me, it's very hard to think of letting their birthdays go by without trying to acknowledge it..

I am so torn between being so sad at the thought of not seeing them and being so pissed at their mom...How dare she do this..
 As always, the children suffer the sins of their parents....

I better stop now..lol..this is one subject that I could go on and on about...
I miss my babies:(                

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