Saturday, October 26, 2013

This is the Memorial a woman on one of the Marine sites made for us...

It has been three weeks of hell....I say this is our new normal..We don't have a choice...it's unfair...Everyone keeps saying how strong we are...No, we are not strong..we don't have a choice...We have to think of the other kids..I still have to go to work...it just sucks no matter how you look at it.....

Last week Wednesday, JJ returned home..We went to the airport with our gunny sargent...There were so many people there..oh my gosh...Bikers Galore...from the Patriot Guards, and Rolling Thunder...They not only escort you to the funeral home, but they stay there so that you are not bothered by the Westboro Church NUTS..


There were Marines, the news stations and probably 18 motorcycle cops..
The escort home was an amazing site...People standing along the side of the roads, in every different township, they had one of their firetrucks and firemen saluting...

It was probably a 20 mile drive and they had barricaded each intersection..it was a huge procession...

Once back at the funeral home, we were finally able to see him..
It was (and is) so hard to comprehend..but we were glad he was home..it was one less thing to worry about...

We had the viewing on Friday the 18th...
My daughter greeted people for four hours...Literally...four hours..
I don't know how she held up..I think it helped give her something to do...she heard stories about JJ from other young Marines..Two boys paid their own way from North Carolina to get here to pay their respects...

The Patriot Guards stayed outside the whole time..and it was cold..I kept trying to get them to come in and get something to eat..they wouldn't..they said they had a job to do....Protecting my grandson....

Saturday was his service..we had an hour and a half time of viewing before the service..They did the 21 gun salute, played taps and one of his high school teachers spoke, as did his recruiting sargent...
I pray to God that I never have to live thru this again....it was the hardest thing I have ever done..
And on top of that, we had to deal with JJ's dad and so called step-mother being there..I know we are not supposed to hate,, but I hate those two people more than I can say..it took everything I had in me not to slap both of them..
They did nothing but torture my grandson and then sit there like this is hurting them...Well, let me tell you, I did not see ONE tear from either of them....
I hate both of them and hope they rot in hell for the torture they put JJ thru....

The paper work finally came for his cremation...So, that took place yesterday..and this morning, we go to the funeral home to pick up the urns....
And then we are going to go to Great America in Illinois..I know, it sounds weird..but we need to Do something..we need a break from all of it..we need to spend one on one time with Monique and Paris..We probably won't stay long and we really won't be getting away from anything, but it may occupy our minds for a minute or two...

On Monday we will intern part of JJ's ashes at the cemetery..One more heartache to go thru...and it STILL doesn't seem real...
My heart is just broken..... 

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