Saturday, October 4, 2014

One Year Ago.....

It still seems surreal.....
How can it be one year since we were given the worst news imaginable??







 The government has documented his date of death as the 5th of October...Well, we know that he didn't die on the 5th, he died on the 4th..
I really don't know how they can do that...to me it's hurtful..it's disrespectful and I don't acknowledge the 5th as his day of death.

Today is the one year anniversary..

And all I keep thinking is that we have to live the rest of our lives knowing he is gone and we will never see him again..never hear his voice...It never gets easier, we just learn to move on without showing the daily pain...

People DO NOT UNDERSTAND...They will compare his death to the death of their parents...Uh sorry, NOT THE SAME..
I have lost my beloved Mom..I know how it feels to think of calling her and then remembering that I can't..
But she was 87...She was so ready to go...and it's the natural course of life...
Burying your son/ grandson is NOT the natural course of life. 
So many of the young men he was in boot camp with are now getting promotions..Promotions that J will never see..He was Lance Cpl....A few months back, when the first guy made Corporal, all I could think of was that J would never make Cpl..As time moves forward, these same young men will rank ever higher, get married and have babies...
We will never see J do those things..

Today my daughter has to work....She had taken some months off from work...she had to return about a week ago..They are treating her like crap...mad because she has been off....can you imagine people being mad because you have lost your son and haven't been able to return to work???? What is wrong with people??

I just don't get it...

We have decided that we don't want to do a memorial at the cemetery with his friends...We want to be on our own..So, we will go to the cemetery and place flowers...
Then we will go out to eat..and walk the mall....I figured that it would keep us moving..
At least that's the plan,,that may change when she gets off work..we will see what happens...
Praying for all of us to make it thru the day...and each day after.

I love you to the moon and back J <3 i="">
I miss you every second of every hour of every day <3 i="" nbsp="">

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