Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Just a short note to let you know that Dave has passed away. 12-21-09..
Thank you for all of your prayers! It helps to know that there are so many people that care.
I will try to make an entry later today...


Sunday, December 20, 2009

First of all, I would like to thank each and every one of you that came by with good thoughts and prayers for my ex, Dave.
Thank you Sugar for posting the need for prayers on Call 4 Support. That was so thoughtful. It brings tears to my eyes that so many people that I don't know would come by and offer their comfort. It makes things a little easier to face when you know that there are so many wonderful people thinking of you.
Thank you Linda for the award. I hope to get over by you today to pick it up. Hopefully I will be able to figure out all of the rules to pass it on...lol..

It has been a crazy week..as I know it is for everyone at this time of year.
I have people out of work, one building under construction and had to prepare for Christmas with my step-daughters and three younger grandkids yesterday..

Shannon spent the night at her aunts house last night to take care of Dave. Then this morning she pushed her aunt and uncle out the door to get breakfast..They were so thoughtful they brought a pizza home for her to take home to her kids...

She said that her dad is losing weight each day. He has been bedbound for about three days now.
The last words he has actually spoken were "back off" lol...Guess he didn't like all of them hovering over him..

She said that although he hasn't spoken, he is at times, talking with his eyes..There were a few times that he had tears in his eyes.
Dave is not strong enough to get up..although he has tried a couple of times. Last night Shannon gently tucked the blanket in and he was not strong enough to move it away.

I don't know why hospice hasn't come back on a full time basis. I know that they come when they think the end is very near, but my daughter feels like they should be back. They do come in once a day, except for week-ends. But with him being bedbound, I would think they would feel that he meets the criteria.

I'm going to go over tonight at 5:00..I will stay until 10:00pm..then Ken will take the night shift.

On a lighter note, I did have Christmas with my step-daughters and three younger grandkids.
Cameron, Mason and Destiny. They were very well behaved. Had lots of fun and enjoyed their presents.
I decided to make things easier on myself this year..lol..I bought sliced ham, put it in the slow cooker with some pineapple juice. Had rolls, potato salad, jello, meatballs and little store bought cupcakes...I had the cutout cookies baked but never got around to frosting and decorating them..lol..and guess what? Not one person said, "where are the cutout cookies"...lol...
With all that is going on, I decided that it was more important to enjoy the kids than to worry about what cookies I had on the table..

Randy had dropped off some more firewood for me..so I had a beautiful fire going..
It turned out to be a nice afteronoon..Cameron stayed over...we had a nice night of playing his new "trouble" game..watching a movie in bed and going to sleep early..a very nice ending to a great day..
Now I have to do it all again on Thursday. Shannon and I always celebrate Christmas Eve. If her dad holds on thru Christmas anyway. If not, we'll take it a day at a time.

I guess that's it for now. I'll keep you all posting on how things are going.
Once again, thank you for all of your prayers.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I don't know what the problem is...but I haven't been able to leave comments on blogs that I've been to..
I'll try again tomorrow.

Things have been emotional here.
Spent time with my daughter and her dad yesterday and today..He was up and moving around a little bit yesterday. Today he didn't want to get off the couch.
After we left yesterday, the doctor came to see him..Dave asked him if he could give him any type of timeline on how long he had to live. The doctor told him 2-4 months.
The nurse had also been there at some point. Dave asked her what she thought.. Her opinion was two weeks.
I know there is no way of knowing when someones time is here. He could rebound tomorrow.
Right now, it doesn't look good..
He is nauseated, can't eat and appears to have a bowl obstruction. The morphine is taking care of the pain that comes from the cancer, but does nothing for the stomach pain. I don't understand why that would be.

It's going to be a hard road no matter how you look at it.
Dave, my daughter and family could use a few prayers...Please..

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

There is definitely a winter wonderland outside...
I haven't been walking in it, but I have been out there with the shovel..lol..
It is a heavy wet snow..ugh..backbreaking.. My landlord plows, but they don't do a very good job.
I have a straight driveway and then it turns into the garage. Well, he didn't do any of the turn. Even I know that he could have pulled the snow back away from the garage door and then plowed it onto the grass..No, he didn't do that.
So I had to do it. Yes, I could have gotten out of the garage, but we still have snow coming down and it would have just been worse. Now that I know he isn't going to plow that area, I will have to make sure and not let the snow accumulate too much before Jeremy or I get out there..

Last night I went to sit with my ex so his sister (and my daughter) could have a break.
To be honest, I thought I was going to be keeping her company while her husband was gone.
Next thing I know, my daughter is telling me how to give him his morphine and anxiety pill...
He and I were on our own for about three hours. For the most part, he knows what he is doing. He asked me about my brothers and he hasn't seen them in 30 years..We talked about people we knew when we were married.
He talked about his son Steven, but didn't mention that any of the other kids had come to see him also.
At points I felt somewhat disappointed that he didn't have the common sense to say that he appreciated the time that Shannon is giving to his care...Not one word about it..Now, I know that he is dying and may not be entirely with it..And she is not doing it so that anyone pats her on the back..but I think he should have at least acknowledged the fact that she is doing it.

I had to laugh at the thought that everyone is trusting the ex-wife to administer his meds..LOL..

His sister didn't look overly rested when she came out of her bedroom..I think she would have slept longer, but the phone rang...

When I left the snow was really coming down..oh my gosh..But with the new tires I made it home without any problems...

Well, I think it's time for me to head back outside and shovel..:)
Drive safe and keep warm and toasty....

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I got a lot done today..

I made ( finally) 4 batches of dough..yeah...
I did three loads of laundry..
I decorated my Moms small Christmas tree..I was going to put it in my breezeway but decided to put it on my dining room table..Looks nice..and I love having the extra Christmas lights to look at..
I made a roasted chicken and baked potatoes for dinner..Of course this happens to be a night when Jeremy isn't home..Murphy's law, ya know...
My kitchen is completely cleaned up...
Of course,now I feel like I could fall asleep and it's only 6:20pm...lol...

My daughter is going to stay the night by her aunts house so they can sleep and she can take care of her dad..
Tomorrow night my nephew will spend the night.
I will go over Wed. mid-morning as they have some appointments to take care of.

Shannon has finals all week so she will be stretched to the limits I'm sure.

Now I have to go to my work e-mail and do my orders for this coming week..
Have a nice week!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Good afternoon! Hope this finds all nice and toasty warm...

My back is doing much better...thank you for all of your recommendations on how to help it:)

Work is still running smoothly...(still keeping fingers crossed on this one)..

I am sooooo glad that it is Friday..I never knew I could love a DAY, but I do...lol..I was going to see about getting some more Christmas shopping done..but will have to wait and see about that.

Shannons dad (Dave) is now at his sisters house. There wasn't room at his apartment to set up a hospital bed..Last night was not looking good. He was pretty out of it. They do have a CNA around the clock now..That's really a good thing. Ken and Carol were getting worn out trying to do everything themselves.
Now today Dave is more aware of his surroundings and wanting to get some things taken care of before his time comes.
Shannon has gone everyday to spend some time with him. She is keeping her brother updated on things.

I am so happy that she has connected with her brother. He is 5 years older.
She has come a long way in her thinking. She has lost some of the anger that she was holding onto for the last 25 years.
I think she is finding peace at last and for that I am grateful..
She was going to Daves apartment today to pick up his girlfriend and take her to see Dave. She has made me soooooo proud stepping up to the plate.

For all the bad that was in my marriage to Dave, I can't regret that time because we were given such a special daughter. I am blessed..

I HAVE to start my cookies this week-end...oh my gosh, the time is zipping right past me and all I have done so far is get my mixer out from the cabinet...lol...

I am planning on having Carlos' daughters and my three youngest grandkids over to celebrate Christmas on the 19th..I decided to do that because I know they have many other places that they will need to be the week-end of Christmas. I thought this would make it easier for all...

On that note, I am going to get moving here and get some projects done...lol..
Hope everyone has a great week-end...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Workwise, this has been a great start to the week..I have all of my accounts filled.
The woman that I trained last week should work out fine. She seems like she will be very dependable..and hopefully do a good job..
Getting all of my accounts filled has lifted a heavy burden off of my shoulders..I hope things can run smoothly now...(fingers crossed..lol)

When I was cleaning my van out last week, I lifted a bucket that was heavier than I had anticipated and I pulled something in my back..Oh my gosh, at first I didn't think I was going to be able to move. It was slow going but I finally limped my way into the house...moving my left leg caused the most pain. Whatever I pulled was on my left side..after the first two nights, it started to feel a whole lot better. It isn't totally healed but at least I can move around better and it isn't affecting my sleep...

We have gotten so more bad news...my daughters biological dad had gone into the hospital last week. He was sent home with hospice yesterday..
Long story short...well, as short as I can make it...lol...

I was 3 months from turning 18 when Shannon was born. Her dad was 28. He had a problem with being responsible. He had a problem with alcohol..He had a problem with hitting me...But he loved his daughter...For the first 6 years of her life she had a good relationship with him..When she turned 6, I left him..He in turn decided that she would be better off if he stayed out of her life..The logic of a selfish man..
She saw him maybe 5 times by the time she turned 10..after that, she didn't see him until this past summer when his mom passed away and we went to the funeral. My granddaughter was there also..Monique is his first grandchild and he had never seen her. He hugged each of us and thanked us for coming.

A few weeks later we learned that he had cancer of the esophagus (sp). He also had a bleeder of some sort. They were able to stop that one, but it is unknown if another one will occur. If that happens he will just bleed out and that will be the end.
I had always worried about how Shannon would handle the news that he had died or was dying. She has so many mixed emotions where he is concerned.. Now that time is here.
He has five other kids. Shannon is his youngest. His other kids went to the hospital to see him over the week-end. As it turns out, someone had tried to get ahold of us to have Shannon go also. Shannon talked to Daves sister today. She said that tomorrow would probably be a good day for her to come and see her dad.
I told her that I would drive her there. I don't want her to deal with that sort of thing and then be by herself.
I hope she gets some sort of closure from meeting with him..It will never make up for all of the years that are lost. all of the years that she yearned to have her dad want to be with her. But it might be enough for her to let it go at last...

Well, that's about it for now. I have so much to do..but finding out this news late last night and not sleeping good has not helped me be very productive today.
I hope to get an early start tomorrow and get more done...

Keep warm.....